Flowing with Fear

Freeze, Drown, or Swim

In the Taoist five element system that I study, Winter is the season of Water. One of the ways that Water can manifest in our bodies is through the emotion of fear.

I'm very familiar with the feelings of fear. I am afraid regularly, in small ways and in big ones–afraid for myself, for my beloveds, and for the vulnerable beings I'm connected with by virtue of being alive.

Looking at fear as Water has helped me better understand how it functions and what its purpose is in the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. 

If fear is Water, then it has the potential to be both destructive and life-giving. 

If fear is Water, then it can cause harm and is also the catalyst for what we most desire–the new life that is germinating within us.

Fear can be a signal that something is wrong and that there's danger to be avoided. In this case, shielding and protection are needed. I pray for an impenetrable web of safety to come down and cover all those who are afraid and in danger right now.

Other times, the signal of fear goes off not because something needs to be avoided, but because a calling must be heeded. There is something important on the other shore, and we're being asked to swim toward it.

So much of what we want for ourselves and for our world lies on the other side of fear. 

Whether it's a desire to feel seen in the work you do, give life to a new creative endeavor, or make a move based on your intuition, fear will arise on your journey to get there. Learning how to engage with that fear in a way that honors its watery, life-giving potential, is immensely useful.

Today I want to focus on three primary ways that we can relate to fear that arrives to take us deeper into something we're called to. These are freezing, drowning, and swimming.

Image by Griffin Wooldridge, via Unsplash

Freezing in Fear: 

Sometimes when we're exposed to a lot of fear, whether it's generated within or outside of us, it becomes like ice in our bodies. The fear creeps and crystallizes around our being so that we begin to get frostbite of the soul: a numbness and inability to move toward what we know is meant for us, however big or small. There are people in this world who have become like glaciers, layers upon layers of icy fear that keeps them unmoving in a meaningful direction. Ice and glaciers are captivating and beautiful, but the Water in our beings is meant to stay fluid.

If you find yourself frozen in fear today, I encourage you to find purposeful movement again by exposing yourself to Water's complementary element, which is Fire. You could sit by a literal Fire and/or find a softening through the experience of being seen by another. Heartfelt connection with another living being is like a flame that can bring feeling back into places where the frostbite took hold.

Drowning in Fear:

Other times in our lives, we feel pulled underneath by the fear: we're swept away in its current, hardly able to reach the surface to take a breath. We may feel terrified by what could lie in the depths below, but we're so tired that we no longer have the energy to do anything but catch a breath whenever we can. The fear feels all-powerful and all-consuming. If someone were to look at us in this state, they may think we're acting with agency, not knowing that really we're flailing against an Ocean of fear. Our movements are not getting us nearer to the Work we're called to do but are an exhausting effort to stay alive.

If you're feeling drowned in fear, try bringing the Earth up to meet you. Stand barefoot on the ground or find a steadiness in meeting the needs of your Earth-body: eating, walking, bathing–all very slowly and as mindfully as you can muster. Keep creating a shore for yourself for longer than you think you "should" and see what happens to the fear.

Swimming with Fear: 

If fear is Water, then it is beyond the binary of good and bad. Water simply is. It can have destructive effects when out of balance, and Water can also be the very catalyst that unlocks a new stage of growth in our lives.

Fear will never go away, and its presence can actually be a wonderful sign that we're approaching a rebirth. Rather than trying to avoid the fear, I'm learning how to swim with it.

When we're strong swimmers, we understand when to swim hard through a forceful current and when to float with it. We take care of our bodies and are connected to our innate capacity to move toward what we desire, even as we shake with fear. 

Swimming allows us to be with our fear as a neutral force–as Water–and engage with it, move inside of it, rather than being frozen or drowned by it. The other elements can come in to help us, whether by showing us dead weight that needs to be let go of (Mineral), delighting us with the vivacity of life, like a school of Dolphins coming to swim beside us (Nature), or greeting us with a steady, sunny shore once our swim is over (Earth and Fire).

I won't pretend like there isn't a lot to be afraid of these days, but I also refuse to remain frozen or subsumed by it. I don't want you to freeze or drown, either. 

So let's swim, or float, or build ships together. It is possible, even in the midst of all this fear, to keep moving toward the lives that are meant for us. In engaging with fear as best we can, we allow the Water within us to flow and signal to the seeds of our yearning that this is a safe place and time to open and grow. 

Wherever you are and whatever you're afraid of, I know that we need your strength, joy, and unique presence. I hope that by thinking of fear as Water, you can swim toward the shoreline of your next calling and bring the beauty of your soul's Work deeper into this thirsty world.