Sometimes before I write a blog post, I get out my Tarot deck and ask, “What message wants to come through me today?” I pull a card and see what’s there, and it’s usually a card related to something I’ve been mulling over and want to write to you about.

This morning I did this same little ritual, but I knew what card was coming before I even pulled it. It’s the card that has appeared and reappeared an uncanny number of times over the past few months, and it’s what wants to be discussed today.

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It's been a while since I've checked in with the members of my community (that's you!) about what you want to plant and grow in your careers, and this seems like the perfect time to do that. Not only do I want to know what you're intending for this year, but I bet it would be inspiring for you to see what others are up to as well!

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I want to tell you about a dream I had last night.

I’m at a women’s weekend gathering, and we’re each supposed to make a dish for a potluck. I decide I’m going to steam some crabs for the group, and I go out and buy four of them, which I carry in a small plastic bag.

I sit down on a bench near the ocean. Next to me, on my right, is an older man, and I ask him, “Do you know how to steam crabs?” He’s annoyed, but he helps me crack open the shells of two of the crabs and asks me which parts I want to use. As I crack them open, there’s a lot of meat, but also other things - a dark red organ of some kind, and a silver metal orb. I feel sick as we’re doing this, but I put the meat aside in a bowl and turn to the other two crabs in the bag.

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Today is the shortest day and the longest night of the year for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, and it was a day of tremendous importance to our more Earth-based ancestors.

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It’s a hot morning in mid-August, and I’m asking myself “why, why, WHY?!” I agreed to be here. It’s the beginning of twice-daily practices for the girls’ soccer team at my high school, and my friends roped me into joining the team our senior year. “Just for fun!,” they said. “It’ll be great!,” they said.

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What brought me to this moment was, at first, a haunting. A rotten, gnawing Emptiness inside of me that came to the surface anytime my life felt difficult. The Emptiness pushed me to leave job after job and city after city until I became resilient enough to turn around and look at its ghostly face. There I saw a deep sadness. A spirit with no home, cast out because its host didn’t know how to honor its presence.

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