The Lushness of Discomfort
What does a clothesline have to do with doing your good work? A lot, actually. In this 100th podcast episode, I share an overview of the late Summer/Virgo season, how you can re-conceptualize comfort and discomfort, and some new ways that you can stretch into a richer life right now.
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Megan: Welcome to A Wild New Work, a podcast about how to divest from capitalism and the norms of modern work and step into the soulful calling of these times we live in, which includes the call to rekindle our relationship with the earth. I'm Megan Leatherman, a mother to two small kids, coach, writer, and amateur ecologist living in the Pacific Northwest, and I'm your host today.
Hi friend and welcome. Welcome to episode 100. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm recording this close to the end of Leo season, the end of the midsummer. Tomorrow the sun moves into the sign of Virgo, the late summer period. Mercury also retrogrades in Virgo as well, so we're shifting into the final chapter of this season, which will not look the same everywhere.
Maybe where you are, it feels like summer is already over, or maybe it feels like the peak of summer where you are. I encourage you to make your own wisdom from what's happening in your immediate ecosystem and environment. And these seasons are large. They can hold a lot. Summer can look many different ways, not just one.
So the seasonal changes, you know, they're fluid, they're watery. In some ways, fall is beginning to trickle in. In other ways, it might be a long way off. So you make it your own.
This is a special episode because it's number 100, and for some reason, that just feels really significant to me. A hundred episodes, a hundred conversations with you, and I'm just really struck by how much has gone into these episodes. You know, my own labor, but also the help of people who have come on to be interviewed, editors, People who have shared the work, people who have helped me with the design.
I mean, it's just been a real community effort. And even though I'm sort of the holder of this space, it wouldn't exist. It wouldn't be, it just couldn't go on without you there listening and being in this conversation. And I love knowing that you're there. I love hearing from you when it makes sense and you want to share.
It's really just a tremendous gift to be able to do this and I'm thinking about how, you know, we are the only ones who really know what goes into our labor, into the work that we do. You're the only one who knows what it took to do X project, or a certain initiative, or to put yourself out there in this way, or to deliver something, or to make that piece of art.
You're the only one who knows and understands the sacrifices that went into that, the time, the sweat, the fear, the, all of it. And When we're out there, like, looking for a lot of validation from others, it can be because we're not honoring the labor first, ourselves, because we, we really are the only ones who know what it took.
So, I am honoring this podcast in my own way. I had a little ceremony for it, for all of the labor that I put into it, for all of the gifts that other people have shared and made it into what it is. I did a little tarot reading for the podcast to get to know more about it and where it might wanna go in the future. And you can do that too with the work that you do, whether it's a project or just your relationship to your work, you can honor and mark. What you're putting into it and the, the labor that is so rich and sacred, no matter how it's going or how it's being received or how many downloads you have or, or any of that, really just honoring what you're doing and how, what it's requiring of you.
So I just want to say thank you so much to each of you who listen, those of you who take action based on what's shared here, who are making culture from it, thank you to each of the guests who have come on to the show in the last year, and thank you to all of the beings, the elements, the forces of life that have really shown themselves to me and to us so that we can learn and become wiser in these times.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who played along with our little raffle this week to celebrate getting to 100, who shared the show on social media, wrote a review on Apple, shared it with your communities. Thank you so much. I pulled two winners out randomly and those are Megan Drummond and Kim Raymer.
So Megan and Kim, I'll reach out to you privately about how to set up your session or your tarot reading, whatever you want to do. And thank you for sharing. So, I haven't been doing podcast seasons, which is really odd given that my whole framework is seasonal, but I'm just sort of getting with the program and I decided, you know, once I get to 100, I need a little break. So between now and October 3rd, I'm going to share a couple of Encore episodes, episodes I've recorded at previous points in this. It's like this part of the year, and I'll give those a little refresh and share those with you. And then I have a really delightful, rich season starting October 3rd, and we'll run through December.
There's some really amazing, smart, insightful, perspective shifting guests that will be on. I've got some topics that I'm really excited to share with you in the solo episodes. So that's where we're headed, and I hope you come along. Before I dive into today's topic, I just want to let you know that I'll be teaching a live class on September 6th.
It's called Tracking Spirit: Old Ways to Determine Your Next Right Step, and we'll be talking about animal tracking and some of the principles in that practice that can help you shift your own focus and alignment, help you to see signs and openings and flow where you thought There was none to help you sort of stay very close to the work that you're meant to be doing right now.
It's an hour long. It's a live class. I'm offering it at two different times on September 6th, which is a Wednesday. The cost is $22, and I would love to have you. The link is in the show notes or at a wild new work dot com slash events.
Okay, so today I'm going to be talking about comfort and discomfort.
I'm going to be talking about our addiction to comfort. What else is available, the benefits of discomfort. And both the Leo and Virgo signs. ways of being are really good teachers about this topic. Leo being the sort of courage to follow that shining light in your chest, your heart, which is immensely uncomfortable at times.
And Virgo comes in and reminds us of the value of our labor. It reminds us of the value in laboring. for something, something sacred, setting aside our comfort for a time and being disciplined and focused and committed to that. So in today's episode, I'm going to give you a Virgo season sort of overview so that we're on the same page about where we'll be for the next month or so.
I'm going to talk about how to reconceptualize comfort and discomfort and share some new ways that you can stretch into a richer life this late summer. I'll read us our opening invocation now, so wherever you are, you can settle in, feel your body and time and space. You might take a deep breath or exhale.
May each of us be blessed and emboldened to do the work we're meant to do on this planet. May our work honor our ancestors, known and unknown, and may it be in harmony with all creatures that we share this earth with. I express gratitude for all of the technologies and gifts that have made this possible, and I'm grateful to the Cowlitz and Clackamas tribes, among many others, who are the original stewards of the land that I'm on.
Okay, so let's start by talking about Virgo season. It starts August 23rd. It's there until about September 22nd, right before the autumn equinox. Virgo is a mutable sign. It comes at the end of a season. It's helping us transition into a new season. It's a bridge. It's dynamic. It's not static. It's changeable.
And it's an Earth element sign, so we're talking about the practicalities of your body, your relationship to the Earth, the way that you access the resources that you need, the food, the materials, what you do with those materials. In astrology, it's often symbolized by the Virgin. Which is not really about sexual purity, but is the older meaning is a woman or a person who is really contained in and of themselves.
They're not independent, but they're integrated, they're whole as they are. They're not in need of, completion, if you will. So, There's this containment available here, this like steady earth sign, the Virgin, this like very centered way of being that's available. You might notice that the light is continuing to shift.
One of my favorite times about the late summer is this very golden hour around dusk. It feels like this whole season is sort of... permeated by the sort of golden light that comes at the end of the day. So since the beginning of summer we have been through the chariot card in Cancer season, we've been with the water element that was there, we have tapped into strength and expansion and fire in Leo season, and now we're entering into the earthy realm of the hermit.
And the hermit card in the tarot is really about a quieting. a separation and Virgo season really is a time of, you know, being so grateful for the flow, the water, the big energy of the summer solstice and of Leo season and the whole summer season, but now there's a need to sort of isolate a little bit and to get quieter.
There's a separation, a desire to sort of step away from. mainstream culture or the crowd and to be alone and in solitude, you know, the big light of the summer solstice is getting smaller now and it will continue to become a small flame that can guide us when it gets dark. Often on the hermit card you'll see a figure holding a lantern in the dark.
There's a small light now that is critical and so important and precious, and it lives inside of you. And your labor, your efforting, your focus is most beneficial when it's in service of that small flame and what it shows you when you stay very close to the actions and ways of living that have balanced heat and warmth for you.
So we're not talking about like a big overwhelming fire of energy. We're talking about a small quiet source. of heat and warmth. It's your pilot light. It's the thing that's on all the time. That might be your art and creativity. It could be your commitment to your craft. It could be, you know, the flame can express itself as what you just choose to do when you have time to yourself.
Maybe you're out. Talking to plants or foraging, or maybe you're studying the stars, or maybe you're, um, enthralled by others conflicts. I don't know what it is. It could be your relationships, your caring, the way you move through the world. But Virgo season is an invitation to renew your discipline and to take that pilot light, the way that it expresses itself in your life, really seriously, to be very discerning about what you worship, what you focus on, what you're devoted to, and how, how do you show your devotion, how do you show your commitment, and where that will take you, where you might go, the larger path, if you follow this little light, isn't actually for you to know right now. We're shifting seasons. The wheel is turning.
The seasons are changing with or without us. We have no control over that. The hermit never shows us very much. It's not about where we're headed. It's actually where we're being asked to take one careful, discerning, aligned step at a time. That's what matters. That's the work of the hermit. And it makes me think of this line by the Spanish poet Antonio Machado: Making things carefully / Is more important than making them.
So, that's very true this Virgo season, and Mercury is going to be retrograde the entire Virgo season, so that need for focus and commitment will be even more present. And I think Virgo often gets a bad rap because we think of it as, like, perfectionism or focus on the wrong things, but actually Virgo can be a tremendous time of support for you to realign your focus on what actually matters to you right now.
It may have been different last Virgo season. I don't know what your life was like last August or September, but here you are now. What's in front of you now? What wants to be created through you? Where do your feet want to take you? How can you honor the flame that It got really big this last summer, but it wants to stay, um, sustained and carry you into the fall and winter, or into the spring and summer, if you're in the southern hemisphere, that flame might start to get larger.
Let's talk about comfort. I want to say at the outset that I am absolutely talking to myself in this conversation. I love to be comfortable. You can ask my husband Chris. I have like a very narrow range of temperature, comfortability. I really don't like being too hot or too cold. I like to find a close parking spot. I deal with this stuff all the time. Like, I love... to be comfortable and they come from a family where comfort is really valued. And I'll say more about that maybe in a little bit. It's not just that it's valued in and of itself, it also comes out of trauma and culture and all of this is. It's individually manifested, but also culturally manifested.
So just want to make sure you know that I'm not on a soapbox here. I'm absolutely in this work with you. But when I was thinking about this episode, I wanted to do a little bit of research on the word comfort and where it comes from. And I learned that it comes from the Latin, um, com-, C O M, means to express like an intense force, there's like a force to it, and then the Latin word -fortis means strong.
So the meaning is essentially to strengthen, to, yes, give support and console, but the core essence of it is to make strong. And I thought that was really, really interesting because that is not my concept of comfort. My concept of comfort is a meaning that arose more in the mid 1600s, which is like a thing of comforting, like something that produces physical ease, like a treat.
And that meaning actually arose much later in the mid 17th century, like I said. I think that's really interesting that that... Arose that meaning of comfort arose in the midst of capitalism's emergence and the expansion of Western European empires colonization. I wonder if, on one hand, people who spoke English or French, uh, were re -conceptualizing comfort, also finding ways to make terms with or justify their new wealth.
But it's really cool that the original sort of root meaning of comfort is to strengthen and that's going to guide us throughout today's episode. When I'm talking about comfort today, what I mean is that On one hand, it can be a very, it is a very beautiful, necessary part of life. Of course, we're going to comfort a sick loved one.
We give them our care. We give them broth to strengthen them. We give them water. We make sure they're comfortable. We want to comfort a baby, a sad pet. We need to comfort ourselves at times. I'm not questioning that at all today. What I'm questioning is our individual and cultural sort of obsession with freedom from pain, with treats, with physical ease.
That's what I really want to address today and ironically the value of comfort above everything else is kind of the opposite of strengthening. It actually makes us less resilient, less strong, less steady. If you look at domesticated animals versus wild animals, who do you think is generally more resilient?
Right? I know lots of dogs and cats on very specific... luxurious diets who would really, really struggle if any one of those things fell away or if there was, you know, power outages all over and things couldn't be, you know, refrigerated. And I'm not saying that that's their fault or they're bad, but wild animals Because of their environment and their lifestyle, there's a necessity for discomfort and resilience, and they have to figure it out, and, and because of that, they're much sturdier and stronger.
They may not live as long as animals in captivity, but you might argue that their quality of life is better. Is the same or better? And I think this is true for humans as well. We are very domesticated most of us. And that feels so cozy. It's so fun. It's so easy. And I think a lot of us are Becoming more aware of the fact that it has a cost.
That it does make us less resilient. That it does make us less strong. That it scatters our focus. That it makes us feel like we can't handle things or handle life or handle the way that life is right now. And comfort always, not always, but often comes with efficiency. There's this dynamic between comfort and efficiency, that efficiency is comfortable.
We want to be comforted immediately, right? And we want it, like, the fastest, cheapest way possible. And we get dysregulated when that doesn't happen. But there are costs to efficiency, just like there are costs to comfort. Our very efficient food system is producing much less nutritious food than it did decades ago.
Efficiency requires often harmful working conditions. It makes life into a machine. Our obsession with comfort and efficiency makes life into a machine. And the harmful effects of This obsession with comfort, of being comfortable, of having treats and physical ease, and not having to stretch at all, that shows up in many, many different ways.
It's almost even hard to notice because it's like the water we swim in. But it often comes up in people's fear of change - that we're so used to being comfortable that we assume if we're afraid of something or if it feels, you know, horrible or scary that it means it's wrong. It can also show up in sort of out of control consumption, like we forget that we can reuse things or not buy them in the first place or that we could mend them or that we could thrift them or swap.
A lot of us just forget or are moving so quickly that we don't feel like we have the time to be good stewards of the things that we own, the objects that come into our lives. It can show up as lethargy, like we don't really have a lot of energy because we're so comforted that, again, our sort of discomfort muscles have slackened and we haven't had to use them.
It can also be the sense of, like, numbness, right? If you're so comfortable all the time, you really just start to numb out and feel disconnected to life because life is uncomfortable and complex and sometimes it's much more comfortable to be numb.
When I was thinking about comfort, of course, I also thought about difficult conversations and racism, right? That it's very difficult to talk to people in power or people in white bodies or people with privilege who want to stay very comfortable. And again, if it starts to feel yucky, we think that that's a problem or we're being attacked. But that's not the case. It's just that we're in a position of being so used to comfort that we're sort of thrown off kilter by anything that is stretching us in that way.
So those are the some of the main ways that I see it show up in my own life and in the people around me. But I also want to say that it can look different for everyone. You might be like a total adrenaline junkie constantly doing things like that other people think are really risky or uncomfortable, but that That that's your comfort zone.
So I'm talking about patterns here, patterns of comfort, where we trick ourselves into either avoiding pain, or very quickly coming in and erasing it, or any of the ways that we sort of stay above our lives and stay disconnected. And I'm really curious what would happen if comfort was actually about strengthening again.
Right? The comfort that we gave ourselves or that we would give to others would probably look a lot different if we remembered that it's there to strengthen us, to fortify us. So not only are we sort of just obsessed with comfort, we also think that we're entitled to it. And this is really harmful and corrosive, and again, it's not just an individual decision.
This entitlement to comfort helps the larger systems that we are a part of. If we don't know how to be strong, if we are exceptionally domesticated, if it's exceedingly difficult to just be awake and alive and all we have is our comforts, then we will fight to stay comfortable, right? We get escalated at the thought of our internet going out or Netflix being down or having to wear masks or having to face the fact that our loved ones will all die.
So we avoid it and we fight for the wrong things. We fight for our right to the internet. We fight for our right to not have to wear masks or to not accept that people die. We fight for the things that will help us avoid and stay comfortable, that perpetuate the society that we're in. That is a feedback loop.
And so then we're just furthering our sort of domestication and our forgetfulness about our own strength and our capacity to be uncomfortable and to live these full lives. So comfort is very important, of course. It's an important part of our nervous system regulation. There are times, absolutely, when we need to just get regulated again and comfort ourselves.
If a newborn is crying, there's no hesitation. They absolutely need to be attended to right away. When you are in crisis, of course, you need comfort. The water, the nice blanket, the warmth, the kind look or gesture. And sometimes we need comfort in difficult moments, but not always. Again, we sort of rush in with the comfort instead of staying long enough with the pain for it to sort of transform on its own or lead us somewhere. So while comfort is absolutely necessary and beautiful, it isn't meant to be constant. It's not meant to be a constant way of living. It is not a crisis for us to be uncomfortable sometimes. I have to remind myself of this, especially like on a hot day when I'm like out walking with the kids and I'm sweating and I'm grumpy and I feel dehydrated. I have to remind myself, like, this is actually not a crisis. It is good and healthy for me to stretch, for my body to have to sweat, for my body to have to work a little bit harder, all of the things, and it can be any big or little scenario, but we have to remember that while comfort is absolutely beautiful, its opposite is not a crisis.
Comfort becomes harmful when it lulls us to sleep in our lives, when it becomes more important than anything else, when it disconnects us from others, when it's wreaking havoc on the ecosystem. And I think we could argue that our obsession with comfort is already doing all of these things on a mass scale.
Many people are asleep in their lives. Many people value comfort over everything else. Many people are feeling disconnected from others, and the ecosystem is certainly being accosted by this way of life. I mean, of course, the avoidance of discomfort can actually make things harder, right? The climate continues to spiral. We dig ourselves into a deeper hole. We don't move our bodies, so we get sick. So this is really... important and it absolutely has connections to every part of our lives, our work, our loved ones, our homes, the way that we, you know, enter into life and leave life and how we are community members and I want better for us.
It makes me think of a line, a couple lines that I love, by Martin Shaw from his book Branch from the Lightning Tree. He wrote, "Too much wealth, or too many hard knocks, or being far away from rocks, ocean, and swaying grass can sedate us. The idea of career can pull us into a trance like spell that causes us to gradually, piece by slow piece, lose contact with the moments that first opened our heart."
The piece that stands out to me about that is about wealth. You know, many of us can see how a very difficult life, a very difficult upbringing, can cause us to be sedated, can lead us into addiction. And that doesn't necessarily mean That you maybe grew up poor or impoverished, but we can see the effects of poverty.
It's like a significant indicator for how someone will do for the rest of their lives. But I think a lot of times we forget that wealth, which is essentially access to comfort, wealth can also sedate us. And I'm not saying that if you're comfortable, you're bad, or that to be wealthy... I'm hesitating because for a long time I wanted to say like, it's not bad to be wealthy, but the more I learn about it and the more I see its connection to comfort, it's not about it being good or bad, but it's about that sedating quality.
I'm noticing how having all of my needs met by myself, through my own income or my family's income is a sedative. It keeps me disconnected. So this isn't about good or bad, but I just want to put front and center and remind us that too much comfort, too much wealth, like Shaw says, is, is sedating us and things are largely out of balance.
Those of us in the wealthier parts of the world, even if we don't feel wealthy, even if we struggle to pay our bills, we still have become accustomed to certain Lifestyles. We still expect many of us to get clean water when we turn on that tap. We still expect, you know, the heat or the lights to come on if we've paid the bill.
And we're also very used to certain ways of working and pursuing careers that are putting us in those trance like spells that Shaw refers to. So this is serious stuff, but there is a different way, there is a new balance to be struck, and I want to talk about the lush possibilities of discomfort. So again, here I'm talking about mostly that sort of physical sense of ease or numbness or like treating ourselves constantly and avoiding pain.
There are many examples at your fingertips of ways to live that honor or discomfort that might be uncomfortable but that are actually so rich. For Mother's Day, I asked Chris to get me a clothing line, a clothes line, so that we could hang wet laundry out in the backyard. And This is such a sweet, I just love this practice and this activity, because every time I do it, it teaches me more about discomfort and comfort.
It's a pain in the ass to have to haul a full basket of wet laundry down from the basement, up our stairs, out to the very back of the backyard, and it takes time. It takes longer than it does to just throw it in the dryer and turn the dryer on, but The way that it looks, the way I feel out there hanging it, um, it feels so... Simple and quaint. It feels old. It feels sweet. I like the way they look on the line. I like the way they feel when they've been dried by the sun. I like seeing them sway in the wind. And that has all of these other benefits, right? Like the dryer's not being run. We're saving money on electricity. We're not putting hot air into the climate. We're not taxing our dryer again. And also we just love the way that the clothes feel. There are many other examples of this. Riding your bike, fasting and not eating every meal all the time, being in wild spaces, being alone, being in touch with awe, things that are both scary and invigorating or inspiring. Really risking something. These are all ways to be uncomfortable. Examples of discomfort. And each of these things is good for you, it's good for the Earth, and it is disruptive to capitalism and civilization. Each of these things is so lush, it's layered. There are layered benefits.
Where if we look at, like, using my dryer, for example, yes, I get the benefit of, like, soft clothes. It's faster and it's easier. But there are consequences to that. I'm using power. I'm putting things into the atmosphere. I'm using a machine that is very old and we haven't replaced yet. And so there, we have to... Kind of widen our scope in terms of what the benefits and the costs are. And again, I'm not saying that this should all, like, everyone should always hang their clothes.
Although in many parts of the world, that is true. There aren't dryers. I'm talking about just finding a new balance, a new edge for you. Think about, for a moment, your own, like, peak experiences in your life. Examples of times when you felt really inspired or accomplished or proud or humbled or were just witness to extreme beauty and love. Those experiences probably included a lot of discomfort, either risking something to get there, being in a possibly dangerous scenario, experiencing physical pain or lack.
You know, for me, the top two are, you know, giving birth twice without intervention or pain medication, and this wilderness vigil that I went on in July, where I fasted for four days alone in the woods. All three of those experiences were exceedingly uncomfortable. A lot of pain, but also layers and layers, more layers than I can even know probably, of beauty and benefit and strengthening.
And you have those too. I don't know what your experiences are, but the really rich experiences of life are not sitting on our couches snacking and watching TV. Those can be beautiful times, of course. But they don't have layers and layers of richness, usually. So, I'm not inviting you to become a full blown ascetic and swear off everything. I really do believe in balance, but balance looks different for every one of us. And I think All of us, it's probably safe to say, have gone way too far to the other side of prioritizing comfort above many other things.
And I want to speak for a moment about pleasure and discomfort. It is awesome, so wonderful, that there is a lot of emphasis on pleasure right now, that people are sort of reclaiming their right to feel good in their bodies and in their lives.
And I believe that too. Our bodies are wired for pleasure, and I'm sure most of us aren't experiencing as much pleasure as we could be if we were really in touch with the sort of sensory, uh, magnetism and beauty and pleasure available all around us. And I think the conversation about pleasure can be a little bit empty and can mimic some of these cycles of, like, obsession with comfort.
Pleasure and discomfort are not enemies. Think about like being at a cabin or a house in the winter and it's snowy outside. It's freezing outside, it's cold, and you have to go collect firewood and you have to go out there and it's cold, it's bitter, it's windy. It might even feel a little bit dangerous, but you've got the firewood and you come back into the house.
The fire is still going. It's warm. You can take off your layers and have a hot beverage. You can sit by the fire, get cozy in your socks and blanket again. Maybe there's a loved one with you. Isn't that fire so much more pleasurable now than if you had just been there 24 7? Or imagine if you're like out collecting berries in the hot sun, and you're sweating, and you're tired, and you really just need a drink of water, and you come upon this cool, slow river.
Wouldn't that be so much more interesting and enticing now that you've been, you know, hot and are ready for something else, a rebalancing? You would probably just jump right into that river and enjoy it so much. But imagine if you were always by that fire, never out in the cold, or always in that river, never out in the heat, you wouldn't be able to see or access the full scope of pleasure available. You couldn't see their full benefits because you had them all the time. There's not the counterbalance that's needed for pleasure to really be amplified.
So I want to take a few minutes to talk about how to get uncomfortable.
If you're someone who, like many of us, is sort of used to staying in a comfort zone and prioritizing comfort, I want to encourage you to really start with your body, to really prioritize Life ways that are uncomfortable, that are inconvenient, that are slow, that are inefficient. You know, in tiny ways, wherever you want to start is perfect.
It might mean going slow enough that you bump into that neighbor and have to make small talk, even though you want to, you know, tear your face off doing it. It might mean walking instead of driving or biking instead of driving. It might mean baking something for a friend instead of buying a gift. It might mean cooking from scratch.
It might mean simmering something for an entire day or hanging your laundry outside or calling someone on the phone instead of texting. There's so many opportunities to... prioritize the things that are not easy, that don't give us that physical hit of like comfort and being treated, but that have, again, these layers of benefits.
So one just really Encouraging you to start with your body and the way that you live your life. And again, starting with something small and just looking for the opportunities. You'll get more and more clued in and see more opportunities the more that you do this. Number two is to Prioritize doing what feels scary, doing what you don't want to do, what's different from your normal routine.
Not being reckless, but really staying open to being humbled by something. Fear is an excellent guide and partner to discomfort here. So, For me, that's like being out on a hike alone. That's like the number one, that's what I know to do when I get too comfortable. It could be doing something on your own anyway, or asking a friend to come along if you're usually doing things by yourself.
It could be pitching something in your working life, or devoting more time to the thing that... It feels scary to do. It can be so many different things. Again, but following the fear is an excellent way to shake things up and get uncomfortable. And if getting uncomfortable in one area of your life feels too hard, then you can start in another.
This is about building your tolerance, really, building your resilience. A lot of people... feel really nervous about getting uncomfortable in their working life. And that's fair because it is wrapped up in our ability to meet our needs, our identity. There's lots and lots of complexity to it. So if you don't feel ready to stretch very much in your working life right now, that's okay.
You can get uncomfortable in other areas. Maybe you take a cold shower once a week. Maybe you fast for a day. Maybe you bike to the grocery store instead of driving. And you can just start to build your... level of familiarity with discomfort, and you will show yourself that you can actually do these things that are annoying and inefficient and take time, but that actually feel really good and give you something more than just an initial hit of ease,
So what does this get all of us?
Let's be honest, like what do I, okay, so what do I gain, you know, by hanging my fucking laundry on the clothesline? And I've talked about many of the benefits, but I want to talk about some more because I want to leave you feeling really encouraged and enlivened to get uncomfortable right now and to be in that discomfort and to love it.
The first thing I want to say about this is that on one hand, this is, many of this is still a choice, right? Like, I still have a dryer that works. I still have electricity. I still have water coming out of my faucet. But we know that things are going to continue to fluctuate in terms of our environments and our access to energy, water, food.
And I don't mean to scare you or, you know, fear monger at all, but I think we're just seeing that. You can see it. You know it in your body. There's a really good book by Sharon Astyk called Making Home. And it gave me a different understanding of what Climate chaos is really going to look like for us that it's not going to be this one like huge overnight change.
It's these, again, these like ripple effects and fluctuations, like Where I live here in Portland, uh, the local energy contractor is called PGE, and I don't know how long they've been doing this, but I feel like I just noticed it last summer. They started doing these things called peak energy rebate days, where if you, on a day that's like really hot and there's going to be a lot of energy usage and maybe the risk of blackouts, they will give you a rebate for however much less energy you use.
So if I use like 10 kilowatt hours one day, or that's my average, and then on a peak rebate day I use 8, then I get a rebate for the difference for those 2 kilowatt hours that I didn't use. And that's like a really nice friendly face on what is actually happening that it's like, Ooh, you can get, you just get a rebate.
Like, that's so cute and fun, you know. But what it's actually showing us is like, Oh, things are in flux. Things are flexing. And right now I get a rebate, but in a couple years it might be like, There's not a choice. There's just no electricity right now. And that's something that we're just going to have to continue to come to terms with, I think. Or I don't think, I know.
So, one is that it just gets us more comfortable with Discomfort and the fluctuations like if I now I have a clothesline set up So it's not a huge deal if I can't run the dryer And there are other little tweaks that I can make to be more resilient in the face of these ripple effects and these changes So it's about sort of fortifying ourself and becoming less domesticated less Unable to meet our needs within these certain very, like, limited parameters, um, and becoming more flexible and sturdy.
The second thing that this gets us is that we can come back to the true meaning of comfort, which is to fortify you, to strengthen you. You can find new ways to comfort yourself and also make yourself stronger at the same time. And I can think of a lot of examples of that. Things that are comforting and fortifying.
One is just telling the truth about what's going on. It can be very uncomfortable to get there, but it's immensely comforting to speak the truth, to tell the truth about what's actually happening. Even if we're just saying it aloud to ourselves. That that's comforting, it does something in the nervous system, and it strengthens us, because it strengthens our capacity to tell the truth, and to see the truth.
The second is getting our body out into the weather, the water, the community of life beyond us, that that is comforting, you know, the forest, the environment, the desert, that is very comforting to our nervous system, and it helps build our resilience so that, you know, maybe Where we couldn't tolerate 85 degrees a couple days ago, maybe we're like 85. 5, like we can stay with that, we can hang with that, or in the winter when things are cold, maybe, you know, we're out there for five extra minutes and we're building our capacity to tolerate discomfort. The third way that we can be comfortable that's also fortifying to us is just being vulnerable with the people in our lives, really letting them see us.
You know, maybe instead of buying a new thing, maybe it's going to your neighbors and admitting that you can't afford to get X thing repaired right now and can you use theirs? Or finding ways to get uncomfortable enough to allow people in to help you in other ways with your work or, I mean, there's so many different ways, but really just like being vulnerable and sitting with the discomfort that comes alongside that.
Another thing is following through on the commitments that you make to yourself. That that's comforting in a way that might not feel really efficient and easy, but that is deeply Strengthening. You know, when we don't follow through on the commitments we make to ourselves, we erode our sense of ability to follow through, ability to take care of ourselves, the ability to make a life that we enjoy.
And so comforting ourselves through doing what we said we were going to do. It could also be getting up earlier and really honoring your morning routine. This is like... a really important thing, and it doesn't have to look the same for everybody, and I don't care what time of the day it is, but establishing some sort of sacred Ritual, first thing in your day, making time to be inspired and connected to something greater is really, really important, and Virgo season is an excellent time to do that.
So yeah, it might mean that you're a little more tired, it might mean that you get out of that warm and cozy bed, and you get, You know, onto somewhere else that's not as cozy, and you have to wake up, and maybe you stretch, and maybe you don't want to do it, and oh my god, this is the worst, but it will fortify you, and, uh, it will, it can change your life, like it's absolutely, um, changed mine.
So, none of these things are really syrupy, sweet, or efficient, or easy, but they will both comfort you and fortify you. They are examples of the true meaning of comfort. So by increasing your tolerance for discomfort, you also increase your tolerance for a larger life. For a life that inspires you, that challenges you, that is worthy of your vitality. A life that is awake, and discomfort is an essential part of that.
The last thing that I want to say about this is with regard to ease. I talk a lot in my work about finding ease, like a lot of what I do with clients is helping them sense into and then follow Where there is flow already, where they can find the opening and the ease, and to follow that.
And it's worth saying that ease does not mean easy, it does not mean comfortable. Working with ease means that you find the next steps that are congruent with your internal flow. That sense of fluidity that you always have access to, the larger flow of life that you are a part of. And I want to give you an example, um, from a client that I worked with about a year ago.
She worked for herself, and she came to me feeling pretty burnt out with the work that she had been doing. It had been a couple of decades of this type of work. And on one hand, that work was really easy, because she was established, there was a demand for her work, there was a steady flow of clients, like it was kind of set.
But internally, There was like a sad, just really messy log jam with a lot of resistance to doing that work anymore. And so we had to work through that together and really help her find her internal sense of flow, where her desires and energy already wanted to go, which was in a different, sort of more artistic direction.
And that, That included a lot of discomfort, that was an extremely discomfortable, uncomfortable path for her. It meant that she had to take herself seriously in a new way. It meant that she actually had to make time for work that didn't pay anything yet. That no one would really understand, that she didn't even completely understand.
But there was an internal flow to it because there was resonance. She felt good doing it. Once she made the time and she showed up, it flowed. And then, what's really beautiful about this is that then you start to see signs and affirmations around you. She would, you know, there would be synchronicities, like something that she had been aware of in her work that day showed up on a card or an ad or on a sign, or she would meet people who kind of affirmed what she was doing and the ideas that were flowing through.
And it gave her the courage that she needed to more radically shift her other existing client work, so that that could become... more in alignment with her internal congruence. So this work is worth doing, and if you don't feel ready to do any of that, and even if you do, the body and physical comfort and discomfort is an excellent place to focus as well.
So it's worth doing in and of itself, but it's also kind of Like, not a choice if we want to keep going on in our lives in a good way. And you have the strength and the will to do this. You are someone who can live a big life, one that is courageous and interesting to you, one that leaves marks on you. So much of what you want is just on the other side of your fear of numbing out, of being comforted.
You can comfort yourself and others in a new way. You can fortify yourself. You don't have to always rush in and coddle yourself or give yourself treats or do things that might eventually weaken you. And sometimes, you know, on one day it could be coddling and weakening you and on one day it's fortification.
So there's not any good or bad here. It's going to look different for each of us at different times. But I know that most of us are really ready to find a new balance and to feel into some of the real benefits of Discomfort. And I'm right there doing that with you, and I'd love to hear how it's going if you want to let me know.
So that's what I had for you today. I want to remind you that I'm doing a live class on September 6th called Tracking Spirit: Old Ways to Determine Your Next Right Step. So if you are there in that hermit card wondering what the next right thing is, not wanting to force it, really wanting to find a sense of ease that may include discomfort, but that you're ready for, I would love to have you in this class. The link is in the show notes or at awildnewwork. com slash events.
And there are other events out there too that I haven't super announced yet, but um, There will be other things in the Portland area this fall and winter, so I'd love to have you check that out. A reminder that for September in the podcast, there will be some Encore episodes coming out, no new episodes. The next Encore episode will be out September 5th, and then our next season starts October 3rd. I hope you take such good care that you fortify yourself in new ways, and I will see you on the other side.
To learn more about my live class on September 6th called Tracking Spirit: Old Ways to Determine Your Next Right Step, visit: https://awildnewwork.com/events/2023/trackingspirit
Resources Mentioned:
*Poetry by Antonio Machado
*A Branch from the Lightning Tree by Martin Shaw
*Making Home by Sharon Astyk
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